María José Flaqué is the founder of Mujer Holística in Mexico: ‘Holistic Woman’. She is a Health Coach, Business Coach and digital entrepreneur. Her mission is to inspire women to follow their dreams. Maria would love to live in a world of empowered, happy and abundant women, and believes her vision is possible. The first step is compassion for self.
“The world cannot be healed without first having love and compassion for ourselves.”
This idea may sound selfish or narcissistic, but in reality, it is the basis for the change we want to see in the world and to achieve the deep acceptance of who we are.
To feel compassion is to extend the feeling of love and acceptance to our heart, leaving aside the judgment, the punishment or the analysis of external actions. It involves a deep level of understanding our own journeys and those of others.
Many times, the person we are most critical with is ourselves; we use our minds to punish and self-judge for what we did in the past. We have a negative inner view of ourselves or even reject who we truly are. We tend to want to change our essence and we are tougher with ourselves than we are with strangers or loved ones.
Compassion for oneself is reflected in acts of daily love and acceptance.
When you practice Mindfulness, you increase your ability to observe life consciously, without judging and without analyzing. Many times you will find qualities or acts that you want to judge or situations that cause you pain or suffering. That is where the space for compassion and complete acceptance of yourself comes in.
One of the visualizations I recommend in order to extend compassion to yourself is simply to imagine that you have the negative voices or the feeling of pain sitting on your shoulder. Whenever you hear a critique or feel pain for a particular situation, ask yourself: what do I need right now? Is this thought helpful? Am I being kind to myself? How can I take myself in my arms and console myself? Maybe you just need to say “it’s okay, everything’s going to be alright” or just “I love you”.
- During the day, perform the exercise of stopping and observing what is happening.
- Allow everything to be there without analyzing or judging.
- Accept everything as it is.
- Ask yourself: What am I feeling and what needs do I have at this moment?
- Bring compassion from your heart. Imagine your heart filled with pink light and then give yourself a hug, a word of love or an authentic acceptance of who you are.”
By practicing the art of giving compassion this to ourselves, we are more able to give it to others.
With love, MJ
You can follow María José at Instagram @mjflaque
Sigue aquí el blog en español.